Inevitable Ambivalence

You can't wait to get done. Right?

It will be glorious to have the dissertation complete, to get those three letters after your name, to no longer be so poor, to be free of your advisor's whims and to feel fully adult.

Yes, it will be great to finish.

But why are you still finding it so difficult to sit down and work?
Are you fully conscious of your conflicts and anxieties about completing your degree?

Here are some of the concerns about finishing that I have heard:

"I'll have to leave my friends."

"It will be hard to find a job."

"I'll have to start paying off my student loans."

"I'll have to leave this great town."

My dissertation may not be brilliant."

"I'll have to face limited job opportunities in my field."

"My partner and I will never be able to find work in the same place."

"It will be even more work to be a junior professor."

"People will expect me to be an expert in my field."

"I might need to move to an area of the country I don't like."

"Some of my friends or family members will be jealous of my success."

"My work may not be good enough to publish."

"I'll have to face my dissatisfactions with academia."

"My lifestyle will be less flexible and independent."

"I'm anxious about making such a big transition."

If any of these statements resonate, than you will understand how ambivalence could subtly undermine your motivation and lead to procrastination.

However, there is no need get sidetracked by your conflicts. Tackle your fears about finishing in several ways:

• Become aware of the anxiety

• Acknowledge the validity of your concerns

• Accept all the feelings that come up.

• Then, remind yourself of all the great reasons for completing your dissertation and…

GET BACK TO WORK   :)

Here are some concrete ways of dealing with ambivalence:

1. Keep a journal where you record your emotions and fears. This will help you become aware of the range and complexity of your feelings about the degree.

2. Make a list of all the pros and cons of finishing: you'll find that the benefits far outweigh your concerns. Dispute any irrational fears.

3. Create a master list of the great reasons for getting done and post it prominently near your workspace.

4. Remind yourself that completing the degree doesn't automatically mean that you have to stay in academia. You will continue to have career choices.

5. Visualize yourself in a wonderful job in a great part of the country and hold on to that mental image of success. Practice seeing it vividly in your imagination on a regular basis.

6. Talk with your friends or a support group about ambivalence. Realize that your anxieties are normal.

7. Get a professional coach to help you understand and overcome your conflicts.

8. Plan huge treats and festivities to celebrate finishing.
   Over the decade that I've been mentoring academics, I'm pleased to confess that I've been responsible for all sorts of treats including: a trip to Paris, an antique gold pin, a three-month camping expedition, two fancy bicycles, several pieces of self-designed, custom-engraved jewelry, new suits, huge parties, lavish restaurant dinners, season basketball tickets. Are you worried that taking my advice will cause credit card debt? Think how much more money you'll be making if you graduate a year earlier!

 

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