Successful Academic - Dissertation Coaching

Inside this issue: How Constant Self-Criticism Erodes Motivation

Brought to you by:

Mary McKinney, PhD
Clinical Psychologist &
Academic Coach

QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself 'I have failed three times,' and what happens when he says, “I am a failure.”
-- S. I. Hayakawa (U.S. senator and university president)

 

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”
-- Anna Freud


RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:

http://www.phinished.org
PhinisheD is the most popular support group for graduate students. It provides access to everything from chat rooms to peer-reviewed links to other sites. Because it is so comprehensive, you can spend hours wandering its pages. Some students confess that it can become an addictive form of procrastination. Take the risk of getting hooked and check it out.


RECOMMENDED BOOKS OF THE WEEK:

“Ms. Mentor’s Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia” contains wonderful recommendations for men as well as women on the tenure track. Thank you, thank you Emily Toth for creating Ms. Mentor, a sage dame who keeps us laughing as she explains the hidden rules of university life. For years, Ms. Mentor has written a column for The Chronicle of Higher Education and these quips make side-splitting additions to the book’s tips. You can buy this book at Amazon.com

 

“Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott.
Ann Lamott’s book about writing fiction contains fabulous and funny examples of the self-hating inner voices of writers. She will help you avoid writer’s block and learn to keep writing no matter what. You can buy this book at Amazon.com

 

 

 

Inner Voices

Even famous writers can be harshly self-critical.

Observe these journal entries of one novelist:

• No one else knows my lack of ability the way I do… Sometimes I seem to do a good little piece of work, but when it is done it slides into mediocrity.

• My many weaknesses are beginning to show their heads.

• My work is no good, I think – I'm desperately upset about it… I'm slipping. I’ve been slipping all my life.

• Vacillating and miserable… I’m so lazy, so damned lazy.

• Where has my discipline gone? Have I lost control?

• My laziness is overwhelming.

• Got her done. And I’m afraid she’s a little dull.

These are diary entries by John Steinbeck from when he was writing The Grapes of Wrath. It was his ninth book in ten years. He wrote it in about five months, producing about 2,000 words a day.

How do you talk to yourself about your work?

  • Do you berate yourself continually?
  • Do you call yourself lazy, weak-willed, undisciplined or hopeless?
  • Do you consider your work substandard, useless or insignificant?
  • Do you call your writing “awful” or “embarrassing”?

When I work with struggling academics, I am struck by how harshly critical they can be of their own work. Many people who seek my aid accuse themselves of being incompetent. They feel like imposters who have just fooled others into considering them intelligent.

Self-critical diatribes hurt you in several ways. First of all, they lower your mood. Second, the more often you indulge in attacking yourself the more habitual it becomes. Third, they decrease your motivation to work hard. Attacking your owns efforts is a form of mental punishment that can reduce your output.

How does this happen?

When you tell yourself that your work is no good, and that you are worthless for taking so long, I believe that somewhere inside you think, “Why bother. I can’t please myself no matter what I do.”

If you provide no “mental reward” for working hard, but respond with an assault, what incentive is there to keep trying? You are an insatiable critic.

Punishment hinders learning.

How can you fight your internal negative voices?

Ask yourself a simple question:
“Would I treat one of my students this way?”

If a student finally finished a paper after a painful struggle would you tell him it was horrible?

If you did use harsh, disparaging words to a student, do you think that it would help her face similar work the next time?

I feel confident that you are kinder to your struggling students than you are to yourself. I believe that you reassure students for their efforts and find something to praise in even mediocre work. Your goal, I’m sure, is to encourage and support rather than denigrate.

If you tend to have harsh inner voices, there are many steps you can take to soften your attitude. Here are some tips for change:

  1. Pay attention to your inner critic.
     Notice the tone and the content. Awareness is the first step towards change.

  2. Give yourself time before you judge your work.
     Have you ever re-read a piece of writing after a long time has passed and thought, “Hey, this is actually pretty good?” With distance, most people get a more realistic sense of their work and often find that it is better than they first thought. Allow yourself to gain perspective.

  3. Wait for external feedback.
     Tone down your self-criticism by reminding yourself that you are never satisfied at first. Rely on others to give you perspective. Remind yourself that, in the past, work you considered worthless was often favorably received.

  4. Focus on the process rather than the product.
    Tell yourself that at the very least, you continued working even though you were anxious and resistant. This, in itself, is an accomplishment. You’ve shown perseverance, whatever the result.

  5. Pay attention to your emotional reaction to kinder self-talk.
     Many people find that it feels uncomfortable to soften their self-criticisms. It can feel “fake” or “pandering” to treat yourself with compassion. But don’t you deserve to treat yourself at least as well as you would treat a student?

Try these steps. The people I work with are surprised at the improvements they see in their work habits when they fight their self-destructive inner voices. I guarantee that giving yourself credit for your efforts, rather than punishment for imperfection, will have important results over time. Developing a supportive inner voice will help you gain confidence, cultivate better work habits and feel more satisfied with your life.

Remember the golden rule of inner voices: Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.

Best wishes in the coming week,

Two More Self-Critical Writers' Comments:

"Every book is the wreck of a perfect idea." -- Iris Murdoch

"This screenplay doesn’t need a revision – it needs a trip to Lourdes."
-- Gore Vidal

Mary McKinney, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist
Academic Coach

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By Mary McKinney, Ph.D. of “Successful Academic Coaching”. Please visit Mary's web site at http://www.successfulacademic.com for additional tenure track tips and dissertation writing strategies.”